When I Close My Eyes
by Sara Angeldust
Summary: 15 yr old Rain was a test pilot. A nameless, faceless solider used and manipulated by war driven scientists. But the special psychic bond shared by her Gundam, Phantom, will prove to be more then just an experiment, but the only way out of her cruel fate.
1. Prolouge

"When I Close my Eyes"

By: Sara Angeldust

"Prologue"

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*Disclaimer*: The Anime t.v. show Gundam Wing doesn't belong to me but it's respective writers and creators and the Sotsu© and Sunrise© corporations. BUT! The characters that are underlined in this prologue do belong to me and are not to be used without my consent. If you ask nicely I will gladly let you use them. Just give credit where credit is due k? alright then here we go.

*Authors Note*: This prologue is made up of the main characters profiles and maybe a little beginner to the story. Though take note that not all the characters will come in at once. So you may have to wait for someone you like. Sorry. 

WARNING! This chapter contains spoilers to the main fic. I will label the sections that are spoilers in brackets and an asterisk ( *[Spoiler]* ) If you prefer not to know them then don't read them but if you don't care then by all means read them. thanx

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Main Synopsis:

15 year old Rain was a test pilot. A nameless, faceless solider used and manipulated by war driven scientists. But the special psychic bond shared by her Gundam, Phantom, will prove to be more then just an experiment, but her only ticket out of a cruel fate and onto a battlefield scattered with people possessing answers about her past and her long lost family.

*********

The year is A.C. 238. After over 50 years of peace between the Earth and the Space Colonies a war is beginning. A new leader representing all of the Colonies and the ideal of greater unity has begun his term and has more in mind then just ruling the Colonies. After detaching the colonies from ESUN .(Earth Space United Nations; which evolved from Preventers) The leader known only as 'Pegasus' has rasied a gigantic army called Angels from Above (AFA for short but known as AFH 'Angels from Hell' by all those who apose them ) to fight the Earth and defeat them so he may bring the Earth into his idea of 'unity' as well. Knowing this would happen the Earth raises it's own army therefore making ESUN a thing of the past. As the Earth and the Colonies again begin fighting, the leader of the now almost exstingished ESUN, Relena Dorlain-Yuy, has called upon all of the past Gundam pilots to bring their grandchildren to each command their own ESUN. Corp. ESUN therefore becomes it's own army fighting in an attempt to stop the outbreaking of war. 

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Biographies 

Name: Arro Barton / Gender: Male / Age: 15 / Eyes: Green / Hair: Red / Hair Style: Short crew cut with medium sized bangs that hang down a little on the left. / Clothing Style: Dark red turtle neck and light blue jeans. / Family: Grand Father: Trowa Barton, Grand Mother: Brekke Barton, Father: Sean Barton, Mother: Marit Barton, Great Aunt: Cathrine Bloom / Home: L3 Colony/Earth / Occupation: Commander/Gundam Pilot of the 1st Gundam Corp./ Mobile Suit: Gundam Silver Wing / Special Skills: Very agile, Top Ace pilot

Other: Arro was trained by his grand father, Trowa, to be very agile and a great acrobat. Before he was drafted into the ESUN Military, Arro grew up with just his mom and dad. Sometimes when he went to visit his grand father, Trowa, he would go with him to see the Winner family. Through his grand father Arro became friends with Nikki Winner , whom he grew up as a child knowing and being good friend with.

Name: Seiko Chang / Gender: Male / Age: 15 / Eyes: Brown / Hair: Black / Hair Style: short crew cut / Clothing Style: martial arts gray uniform / Family: Grand Father: Wufei Chang, Grand Mother: Sally Po-Chang, Father: Yukio Chang, Mother: Taori Chang, Aunt: Akira Chang-Takanori / Home: L5 Colony/Earth / Occupation: Commander/Gundam Pilot of the 2nd Gundam Corp. / Mobile Suit: Gundam D.S. Serpent / Special Skills: Master Martial Artist, Top Ace Pilot

Other: Seiko was trained since the age of 4 in the martial arts by his grand father Wufei. Thus making him a master by the time he was 13. As with his family having their heritage of being very justice like and honor oriented Seiko puts forward a first empression that this is what he believes also but once you get to know him he shows an interior of a teenager just wanting to have fun.

Name: Evan Hiroshi / Gender: Male / Age: 15 / Eyes: Hazel / Hair: Brown / Hair Style: crew cut , small bangs/ Clothing Style: black jeans and a long sleeve dark green shirt with a ying yang on the chest and sleeve / Family: Grand Father: Duo Maxwell, Grand Mother: Hildee Maxwell, Father: Ryder Hiroshi, Mother: Kat Maxwell, Uncle: Solo Maxwell / Home: L2 Colony/ Earth / Occupation: Commander/Gundam Pilot of the 3rd Gundam Corp. / Mobile Suit: Gundam Aqua / Special Skills: Mechanic/ Ace pilot

Other: Evan grew up living near his grand father and 2 cousins so Duo taught him all he knows about being a mechanic. (so he's pretty damn good) But since he had no siblings to play with he tends to be a little selfish and sometimes shy. But has a casual and funny personality that makes him easily likeable.

Name: Aeris Kushranada / Gender: Female / Age: 15 / Eyes: Green / Hair: Red / Hair Style: hair is down to the back of her neck with short bangs / Clothing Style: kaiki shorts and a light blue longsleeve shirt / Family: Grand Father: Treize Kushranada, Adoptive Grand Mother: Lady Une, Father: Unknown, Mother: Mariemaia Kushranada / Home: L1 Colony/ Earth / Occupation: Commander/Gundam Pilot of the 4th Gundam Corp. / Mobile Suit: Gundam Nebula / Special Skills: Excellent Gymnast/ Top Ace pilot

Other: Aeris grew up on the L1 colony with her mother Mariemaia and grand mother Former Lady Une. When Aeris was a child she was in contact with Reid Yuy who was a child friend. Aeris has a more out there personality. One minute she is talking like a mad-man then another she can be silent and unnoticable, and a little depressed. Even though Aeris knows that her mother was once considered evil to the Colonies and Earth, Aeris accepts her mothers past and doesn't consider her evil for it.

Name: Talen Marquis / Gender: Male / Age: 17 / Eyes: Blue / Hair: Dark purple / Hair Style: hair is down to his shoulder blades but is kept tied back, w/large bangs. / Clothing Style: Dark kaiki's and a dark blue shirt with a large dark gray trench coat. / Family: Grand Father: Zechs Marquis, Grand Mother: Lucrezia Noin, Father: Marron Marquis, Mother: Terra Marquis, Great Aunt: Releena Peacecraft-Yuy, Aunt: Hitari Marquis / Home: L1 Colony/ Earth / Occupation: Commander/Gundam pilot Of the 5th Gundam Corp. / Mobile Suit: Gundam Scorpio / Special Skills: Natural born leader/ Top Ace pilot

Other: Talen grew up with no siblings just as Evan did but he doesn't seem to have taken on any type of selfish attitude. Talen can be described as an almost perfect match to his grand father Zechs. He prefers to work alone when available and can be very shallow and emotionless and sometimes even cynical. But don't let this deter you, he can be kind too if you can get to know him.

Name: Shawn Maxwell / Gender: Male / Age: 16 / Eyes: Brown / Hair: Dark Brown / Hair Style: Short shoulder length hair kept in a braid w/short stocky bangs / Clothing Style: black jeans, dark green collared shirt, dark brown leather jacket. / Family: Grand Father: Duo Maxwell, Grand Mother: Hildee Maxwell, Father: Solo Maxwell, Mother: Ciara Maxwell, Aunt: Kat Maxwell, sister: Zia Maxwell / Home: L2 Colony/ Earth / Occupation: Commander/Gundam Pilot of the 6th Gundam Corp. / Mobile Suit: Gundam Apollo / Special Skills: Inventor/ Ace pilot

Other: Along with his cousin Evan and sister Zia, Shawn was trained by his father in the area of mechanics and technology but seems to like the idea of inventing things more then fixing them. But don't underestimate his mechanic abilities, he can work up there with the best. Shawn's first love in the world (other then obsessing over his hair.) is his sister Zia who he protects with much vigor.

Name: Zia Maxwell / Gender: Female / Age: 15 / Eyes: Brown / Hair: Brown/Purple / Hair Style: small jagged balled pig tails kept at the bottom of her head./ Clothing Style: black shorts (or dark blue jeans, depends on the weather),dark yellow halter top, sometimes wears a black leather jacket. / Family: Grand Father: Duo Maxwell, Grand Mother: Hildee Maxwell, Father: Solo Maxwell, Mother: Ciara Maxwell, Aunt: Kat Maxwell , Brother: Shawn Maxwell / Home: L2 Colony/ Earth / Occupation: Commander/ Gundam Pilot of the 7th Gundam Corp. / Mobile Suit: Gundam Asteroid / Special Skills: MS Engineer in training/Ace pilot

Other: Along with her brother Shawn and her cousin Evan , Zia was also taught how to be a great mechanic and is the top rated female mechanic. After learning the trades of her family Zia got interested in the manufacturing and creation of Mobile Suits. So with the creativity of her brother, together they created a mobile suit that will become mass produced for ESUN.

Name: Naoko (Nao) Takanori / Gender: Female / Age: 15 / Eyes: Black / Hair: Black/ hair ends are dyed red / Hair Style: shoulder blade length hair, jagged at the bottom, large jagged bangs / Clothing Style: Dark blue bellbottom pants, short sleeve black shirt that says Fight on it in red / Family: Grand Father: Wufei Chang, Grand Mother: Sally Po-Chang, Father: Aoru Takanori, Mother: Akira Chang-Takanori, Uncle: Yukio Chang / Home: L5 Colony/ Earth / Occupation: Commander/Gundam Pilot of the 8th Gundam Corp. / Mobile Suit: Gundam Blue Fire / Special Skills: Master Martial Artist/ Ace pilot

Other: Naoko, a.k.a. Nao, was trained in martial arts just like her cousin Seiko. She is the top rated female martial artist in the Colonies. Although she mostly follows her families strict code of beleifs she prefers to be more of a rebel, hence the red in her hair. She loves hard rock music and traditional Japanese music also. If you don't find her in her families dojo you can always find her in her room painting and sculpting. 

Name: Nicole (Nikki) Sara Winner / Gender: Female / Age: 15 / Eyes: Green/ Blue / Hair: Black w/ purple bangs / Hair Style: knee length hair kept in a low ponytail like her grand mother / Clothing Style: dark kaiki shorts, sleeveless dark orange half turtleneck shirt w/ a short kaiki vest / Family: Grand Father: Quatre Reberba Winner, Grand Mother: Sara Reinhardt-Winner, Father: Cohna Rambers Winner, Mother: Reia Winner, Great Aunt: Hannah Reinhardt, Aunt: Heather Michelle Winner, 29 other Great Aunts. / Home: L4 Colony/ Earth / Occupation: Commander/ Gundam Pilot of the 9th Gundam Corp. / Mobile Suit: Gundam Sand Devil / Special Skills: Music/ TopAce pilot

Other: Nikki's best friend is Nao, other then having similar names they also share the same passion for music and the arts. Although Nikki isn't a martial art genius Nao teaches her as well as Nikki can learn. Nikki grew up with money and you could say she may be a little selfish but mostly puts other people ahead of herself. Her first loves are her art work and her instraments. She is skilled at the flute, clarinet, trumpet, electric bass guitar and the piccolo, but espicially loves her first instraments the oboe and the violin.

Name: Adia (Rain) *[Yuy]* / Gender: Female / Age: 15 / Eyes: Purple (were originally Blue) / Hair: Dark Brown, / Hair Style: Shaggy shoulder length hair with wild jagged bangs that hang down to below her eyes / Clothing Style: blue hipster bellbottom pants, sleeveless black squared neck shirt / *[Family: Grand Father: Heero Yuy, Grand Mother: Releena Peacecraft-Yuy, Mother: Mia Yuy, Father: Unknown, Great Uncle: Zechs Marquis, Twin Brother: Reid Yuy.]* / Home: Moon Colony/ L1 Colony/ Earth / Occupation: Former Test pilot, now Co. Commander/ 2nd Gundam Pilot of the 1st Gundam Corp. / Mobile Suit: Gundam Phantom / Special Skills: Gundam and Zero TCS System expert/ Top Ace pilot 

* NOTE: this entire 'Other' section is all a spoiler!.

Other: Rain was born to Mia Yuy and the Yuy family along with her twin brother Reid. But when she was only 1 year old she was kidnapped by the then hidden society AFA and given to scientists on the Moon Colony to be an ideal test pilot. For 14 years she tested all kinds of mobile suits against a new and powerful system called the Zero TCS (Telepathic Control System). Causing her to have a telepathic bond with her Gundam, Phantom. Also her original name which was given to her was Adia Yuy but when she was kidnapped the scientist gave her the name of Rain which just happened to rhyme with her brothers name. Along with her brother Reid, Rain is more like her grand father then any of her family and her mobile suit abilities go unmatched by anyone other then her brother. Even then it would be hard to determine who is better. 

Name: Reid Yuy / Gender: Male / Age: 15 / Eyes: Blue / Hair: Dark Brown / Hair Style: crew cut with very large bushy, jagged bangs / Clothing Style: jeans, gray muscle shirt, and a black leather jacket. / Family: Grand Father: Heero Yuy, Grand Mother: Releena Peacecraft-Yuy, Mother: Mia Yuy, Father: Unknown, Great Uncle: Zechs Marquis, Twin Sister: Rain Yuy. / Home: L1 Colony/ Earth / Occupation: Commander/ Gundam Pilot of the 10th Gundam Corp. / Mobile Suit: Gundam Falcon / Special Skills: Natural Leader/ Top Ace pilot

Other: Reid had a tough child hood. When he was 1 his sister was kidnapped and at the age of 12 his mother died. He didn't know he ever had a sister until he was 5. Reid is more like his grand father then any of his family. He is very quiet and reserved and prefers to be a loner. But when his sister was around he loved her a lot and would always laugh around her. Ever since then he hasn't laughed. Ever since he was 5 he could always be found in the cockpit of his grand father's simulator and eventually perfected the art of fighting with a mobile suit. Having quicker reactions then his grand father ever did he is thought to be the best male mobile suit pilot there is and ever was.

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"My imagenary friend thinks you have a serious mental problem"

*Authors Note* Hehe. Every time I end a chapter or whatever I'm going to but a funny little saying or quote at the end and some chapters may even have the lyrics to some songs that go with the chapter. For my amusement and yours. Ok so I lied, I didn't put a beginner to the story here but oh well, that will just force you to read the next chapter. I don't have a title for the next one yet, actually at this moment I don't really know what it should be about . But no need to worry I have an idea. Hehe. Ok until then Momentai. (Japanese for chill out)

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Authors Note: After I started writing "When I Close My Eyes" I wrote a poem with the same name to go with it. Bellow is the poem which contains the main theme of the fanfic. Enjoy!

When I close My Eyes

When I close my eyes,

I dream of a far off place,

A place were no one is lonley,

Where everyone has a family,

When I close my eyes,

I dream of the past,

A past of confusion,

Where eveything is a blure,

When I close my eyes,

I dream of the present,

A time of chaos,

Where war is life,

When I close my eyes,

I dream of the future,

A future of happiness,

Where war is absolite,

When I close my eyes,

I can escape, 

The past, present, and future,

Where I can dream the perfect dream,

But this is only true,

When I close my eyes.


	2. Rebirth Of The Lost One

"When I Close my Eyes"

By: Sara Angeldust

"Rebirth of the Lost One"

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*Disclaimer*: The Anime t.v. show Gundam Wing doesn't belong to me but it's respective writers and creators and the Sotsu© and Sunrise© corporations. BUT! The characters in this chapter do belong to me and are not to be used without my consent. If u ask nicely I will gladly let you use them. Just give credit where credit is due k?

Authors Note: I really don't have anything to say for this chapter. Just try not to get confused. I have a tendency to do that to people when I write explanations. ^_- Also yes I know I put the main synopsis in the Prolouge but for some of you , you may need a review.

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Main Synopsis:

15 year old Rain was a test pilot. A nameless, faceless solider used and manipulated by war driven scientists. But the special psychic bond shared by her Gundam, Phantom, will prove to be more then just an experiment, but her only ticket out of a cruel fate and onto a battlefield scattered with people possessing answers about her past and her long lost family.

*********

The year is AC 238. After more then 50 years of peace between the Earth and the Space Colonies a war is beginning. A new leader representing all of the Colonies and the ideal of greater unity has begun his term and has more in mind then just ruling the Colonies. After detaching the colonies from ESUN .(Earth Space United Nations; which evolved from Preventers) The leader known only as 'Pegasus' has raised a gigantic army called Angels from Above (AFA for short but known as AFH 'Angels from Hell' by all those who apose them ) to fight the Earth and defeat them so he may bring the Earth into his idea of 'unity' as well. Knowing this would happen the Earth raises it's own army therefore making ESUN a thing of the past. As the Earth and the Colonies again begin fighting, the leader of the now almost extinguished ESUN, Relena Dorlain-Yuy, has called upon all of the past Gundam pilots to bring their grandchildren to each command their own ESUN. Corp. ESUN therefore becomes it's own army fighting in an attempt to stop the out break of war. And once again save the people of both Space and Earth.

************

It is aproxamently 2 months into the war. So far the Earth and Space have not managed to do much damage to each other. Having pretty much the same military abilities they are evenly matched. But 'Pegasus' is not about to give up yet. In secret he has had 4 scientists working on the now deserted Moon Colony. There they have had a breakthrough. A new system called the TCS System, has been created and tested. This system creates a bond between any selected pilot and mobile suit therefore giving the pilot telepathic abilities powerful enough to control the soft minds of aposing soldiers. These scientistshave tested and perfected the system and in an attempt to hide it from the evil's of the AFA they have said that their only test pilot, Rain, has died. Three years later Pegasus and the AFA have gotten suspicious. But 'Pegasus' isn't going to get what he expects.

***********

The day began as usual for Rain. She had gotten up at 4 am to begin her morning exercises with Phantom, as she had for 10 years but as she walked into the simulation room that morning she could tell something was wrong. The simulation room was relatively small. Actually it was more like an old broom closet but was simple. All four walls had been covered in technical screens which glowed yellow as she entered. The heels of her boots began to make light clacking sounds and seemed to echo from every which direction. In the center of the room sat a huge chair. More like a dentist chair the anything. It was hooked up with so many wires and sensors that getting five feet from it was an experience in itself and to get into the chair Rain always had to jump so as not to unconnected the cords which she knew would get her in trouble. The last time she unconnected a cord it took Dr.S almost a day to repair the system! What could she say, it was sensitive. 

Getting near the cords Rain automatically jumped and landed perfectly into the chair. Usually by that time one of the scientists would be in to tell her about what she was going to do that day, but for some reason no one was there to say anything and the room began to grow silent. Closing her eyes tight Rain concentrated on weaving her mind through all of the mental waves in the facility until she came upon the one she wanted to communicate with. 

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'Phantom?' 

'What is it Rain? I feel your worry.' 'Have you seen Dr. M, or any of the other scientists? I can't seem to locate them.' 'No I haven't. But I can sense them still in the base. Would you like me to contact them?' __

'No that's alrigh,t I'll go find them myself. Thanks Phantom.'

'You're welcome.'

Opening her eyes Rain broke the bond with Phantom. She always loved the rush of connecting with another human mind and letting it go. Since she was 8 she could communicate with her gundam. She never knew that it would actually be able to talk back to her but to her surprise it could, and with a personality too. Phantom was her best friend. Although she was mainly a machine she knew what Rain was thinking all the time and comforted her when she had been punished for doing something bad by the scientists. 

Rain stalled her thoughts and began to search for another brain wave. Dr. M's wave was always easy to find if you looked for it. He was a genius at mobile suit technology and mechanics and was always thinking up new things in his head. So all she ever had to so was hear the words 'Mobile Suit X Core'' or 'Bioengineering Mechanics' and she found him. Dr. S was a little harder then Dr.M. He was the programmer of the systems Rain tested and he never focused on the job. He always had ideas about how to stop the war and not create it or fuel it and was constantly thinking of his children and wife back at the L3 colony. Then there was Dr. R. Man was that the worst mind she had ever encountered. Dr.R was her martial arts and defense instructor and was constantly paranoid. She could always find his wave because when ever she tried to get near it he would sense her automatically just out of shear paranoia. Not only was he always aware of her mental romps, but he was also constantly berating her about going into people minds so much. He always told her horror stories of how earlier mentally bonded patients went psycho because of their own mental romps into the wrong brains. Rain was sure he was one of them.

Closing her eyes again she searched. As she expected she found Dr. M first but could tell his mind was busy on something other then mechanics. Suddenly she felt a sharp pain in the back of her head. It was brief but harsh and as she opened her eyes she saw stars. A Warning. Dr. M had given her a warning!. When she was younger the sharp mental kicks were used to stop her from going into their minds uninvited. But she had not been punished for going into their minds since she was 9 and she was 15 now. When the stars and pain finally went away she knew something really strange was going on.

Her mind raced with questions that she wanted answered. Why? Was the most frequent. Knowing that she wouldn't get them from the good doctors she went to the next best person. Alec. Alec was the only son of Dr. M. He was 18, handsome, with dark brown curly hair and deep green eyes. But of course Rain never though of him as boyfriend potential. She had grown up knowing Alec as a brother. Dr. M never had any real family and when his wife died after Alec was born he decided to keep Alec with him at the moon base. This was fine with the both of them because Alec was an amazing haker. He could hack into any base's programs in a matter of minutes so it was a big surprise when he learned that he was no match for Rain at his own special gift. When Rain was 7 she and Alec were paired together with Dr. S to teach and be taught their hacking skills. Rain had always loved Alec as a really close brother and treated him as such. So it was as natural as breathing for Rain to contact Alec next. Even if he was the only one left to talk too he was also sometimes in on the secret things that went on behind Rain's back on the base.

"Alec?HELLO!" It was easy to find Alec's brain wave which she connected with right away. It looked like he was esleep. "Ugh, what is it now! I'm trying to sleep here Rain!" 

Rain had to mentally giggle at this. It was always so funny to wake Alec up from sleep.

"Well sorry Mr. Sleepy but I got to ask you something important. Or would you rather sleep some more?hmmmmm?" __

"Well now that I'm AWAKE I guess I have no choice." Alec said giving in.

"Good. Do you know what's going on with the Dr.'s? I tried to contact your dad but he kicked me! Alec he hasn't kicked me since I was 9. I think something is wrong." "Are you sure it was my dad that kicked you and not Dr. R? Remember he never has liked the idea of letting you go into……" __

"Alec I'm not stupid. I know when someone kicks me who it is. You know I can' stand it." 

"Well gesh, you don't have to get snotty about it."

"Just answer the question Alec! Do you know what's going on or not!"

"Well now that you mention it I really don't. Are you sure they never told you they were gunna be busy today?You know your brain, you always have something other then news in your head. Man I'm glad I'm not the test pilot."

"No none of them told me anything about today. You could be right though. I have been under a bit of stress lately. Your dad's been boosting up the testing levels lately. And he's been setting the modes on shock too. Do you know how much those things hurt! I can't even sucomb to one enemy without almost blacking out!"

"That is really strange. Dad didn't tell me anyting about boosting the level. An I always know when he's gunna do something like that…. Rain I'll get back to you. This is starting to make me suspicious."

"Ok, you know what to do if you hear anything."

"Right. You take care."

Rain sat up stiffly in the testing chair. 

'That was weird' She thought. Alec always knew when they boosted the level on the sims. And if Alec was left in the dark then something must have been really wrong. 

Looking around the now deffly silent testing room the steel screens brought a new light to Rains eyes. Lies. That was a new one for the 15 year old girl. She had never been lied to about her testing. Maybe misinformed or not told at all but never lied too. When Rain had asked about the boosting of the difficulty levels on her testing she had been told it was just a small skills test and that even Alec knew about them. That was the reason she had never questioined what the doctors had said and asked Alec but now that was all different. 

Jumping out of the chair Rain landed with a thunk far from the jumble of wires. She was going to get to the bottom of this thing if it killed her. As she walked from the room she listened to the clanking of her boots. An omen. Whatever she was about to learn it would be big. 

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"Are you sure she can handle it. I mean she hasn't had that much experience out on the field. I don't know if shes ready. Are you sure you've thought this through M? We can't lose her. She's the only one with that kind of information. It would take years to train a new one and we only have, maybe hours."

"I don't know anything for sure R. But what I do know is that she can handle it. She was born for this. This may be her only chance to escape the fate we have placed over her head. Don't tell me you havn't grown to love the girl as your own daughter. I would never do anything to harm her….. I want to free her. She diserves her life back." 

"I agree with M. She diserves her life back and although this is a bit of a drastic way of giving it to her it is for her own good. I also love her like my own daughter. Hmmm, I probably love her more then my own biological daughter."

"*sigh* Your right. She's just to special a person not to love. Alright, lets go ahead with it. Do you still have ESUN's communication code?"

**********

Without the presence of the doctors close the hallways felt almost dead to Rain. She was slow in her walking as she turned left and right down hallways searching. 

"Where could they be?" She said stopping at a fork in the hallways. She took a look down the left one and turned to walk to the right.

"I can barley sense them, where could they be?" Question kept filling her mind as she clanked down the steel hallways. Suddenly Rain felt a huge pull towards her left by her mind. Seeing a hallway to the left she took it and saw where she was. The words "Communication and Navigation : AUTHORIZED PERSONAL ONLY" were posted on a door to her right. Rain felt a strong presense of people behind the door. 

"This must be where they are." She said servaying the door. Next to the door handle was a security box. Knowing that the box would probably not except her she placed her thumb on the pad. ACCESS GRANTED appeared in green letters on the box.

"Ok, that was freaky." Rain said staring at the handle. 

"Well I guess if my access was granted I can enter right?" Rain said talking to herself. She shook her head and entered the room.

As she opened the door a sense of knowing entered her mind. Someone inside was waiting for her. As she walked into the black room the lights turned on showing her what looked like a small computer lab with a huge screen taking over the corner. The room couldn't be and bigger then 6 meters from the door to the back wall, small for a communication room in her mind. As she looked around the room she noticed someone sitting in a chair facing a blank computer screen.

"Doctor M? What are you doing in here? Where are the other doctors?" Rain asked walking to stand behind the doctors chair. She tried again to access the doctors mind but found it blocked. To her gratitude it was only blocked and the doctor did not give her a kick. She watched as Dr. M turned his chair around to face Rain. The look in his eyes told her he had some news that he didn't want to tll her on his mind.

"My goodness. I don't think I'll ever get over how fast you can find us through your telepathy." Dr. M Said shaking his head slighty and smiling a bit. " I don't' know how I'm ever going to tell you this."

Rain was confused. Had she missed something? Tell her what? Questions again buzzed in her head but she surpressed then and decided that they are not a good thing to ask at the time. 

"Tell me what Dr. What is it that has this whole place being so secretive?"

Dr. M looked up at Rain. This was it she thought.

"Rain do you know a lot about what is going on between the Earth and the Colonies right now?" 

Rain though for a second. She remebered back to about two weeks ago when Alec gave her a large vid of news reports on the current war. She remembered all of it. How could she not. It angered her everytime she saw anything about it. That damn AFA was going to destroy the entire system that ESUN had created. She hated the man Pegasus even more. Who ever hire him into the Colonies Nation Council might have well been putting a hungry cat into a box full of fat mice. She couldn't stand him.

"Alec gave me a vid on it a while ago and I've been looking things up on it when I had time alone with Phantom." Rain said.

"Very good, that will be of much help to you." Dr. M said standing up from his chair. 

What he had said puzzled Rain even more. How would this help her? Unless….omg….no way. They must have been crazy. 

"Rain are you ok?" Dr. M said noticing the shock on her face. Rain pushed her thoughts a side and nodded. Although she told Dr. M she was fine she began to prepare herself mentally for what she though he was about to say.

"Rain, Dr. S, R and I have decided to enlist you in ESUN."

Rain looked up at Dr. M. Enlist in ESUN? That would mean that they were sending her into the war. But why? Why was she being turned into a real soilder? 

"Why?" That was all she could get out. Why. Although this was not what she intended to ask that was all she could managed to say.

Dr. M looked at Rain with a fatherly look., one that Rain had never seen from the man.

"It's sort of complicated Rain. We have finished our initial testing her on the TCS system, thanks to you, and we want you to be able to use your skills to help those who can't help themselves. We aren't forcing this on you Rain, not at all, but we wanted to give you a choice of things to do after we halt operations. You are so special and we don't want to see your mind or body go to waste."

Rain took a deep breath. So, they wanted her to help ESUN. But what about them? She never wanted to see anyehitng happen to her adopted family, even if they were war scientists. But what else could she do? Dr. M was right. After they closed the operation she would have no where to go. With being an orphan and having no family to turn to left her with little options. So why not. It seemed like a resonable offer to her.

" When would I be leaving?" She asked. Dr. M lost much of the tention in his shoulders and smiled at her.

"You could leave tomorrow morning if you wanted. No testing tonight." Dr. M paused. "So is that a yes then?"

Rain thought about it. She would be leaving them if she said yes. Poor Alec wouldn't have anyone to pick on anymore. But then again maybe she might have fun, if that was possible. Her mind screamed for her to say yes, and she never didn't give in to her mind.

"Yes," Rain said smiling "I think I will go to ESUN."

Dr. M smiled at the excited teenager. He was glad she wanted her life back as much as he wanted her to have it. 

**************

Rain looked longenly out the small window of her room. Space looked so beautiful from where she lay. She hoped it would look just as beautiful from the veiw of Phantoms cockpit. How she had always longed to pilot Phantom through space. Although she longed to be in space with her fellow piltos she also felt a huge missing for her family here on the moon.

"I've never not been near them Phtantom. I've lived here all my life. What am I going to do without them?" Rain said contacting Phantom for moral suppport. "You'll be fine Rain. I'll be with you all the time, you don't have to be so fearfull." 

Phantom was right. As long as Rain had at least one person (or mind) with her she would be fine. And besides, Alec and the docs would only be a com link away if she ever needed anything. 

Feeling that she had comorted herself enough Rain began to fall esleep knowing that she would always be close to the ones she loved.

*************

What cha think? Good eh? Well that's it for this chapter of "When I Close My Eyes"

See you next time when I bring you Chapter 2

"Full Of Grace"


	3. Full Of Grace

"When I Close My Eyes"

By: Sara Angeldust

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Chapter 2:

"Full Of Grace"

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*Disclaimer: Regular disclaimer applies. Original character of Gundam Wing are not mine, but all others are. I am not stealing just using them for entertainment purposes only. Also the lyrics to the song "Hiru No Tsuki" which you will see later are not mine. They belong to the creators of the music from Outlaw Star. And I am merely using them for atmosphere. Thanks.

*************

Authors Note: The song lyrics for the song "Full Of Grace" are property of Sarah McLachlan and company not me.

*************

"Full Of Grace"

The winter here's cold,

And bitter,

It's chilled us to the bone,

We haven't seen the sun for weeks,

Too long too far from home,

I feel just like I'm sinking,

And I claw for slid ground,

I'm pulled down by the undertow,

I never thought I could feel so low,

And all in darkness I fell like letting go,

If all of the strength and all of the courage,

Come and lift me from this place,

I know I could love you much better then this,

Full of grace, (full of grace)

My love,

It's better this way,

I said,

Haven't seen this place before,

Where everything we say and do, 

Hurts us all the more,

It's just that we've stayed, too long,

In the same old sickly skin,

I'm pulled down by the undertow,

I never thought I could feel so low,

And all in darkness I feel like letting go,

If all of the strength and all of the courage,

Come and lift me form this place,

I know I could love you much better then this,

Full of grace,

My love,

(Interlude)

I know I could love you much better then this,

It's better this way.

************

The morning of Rain's departure was more then a hectic one. Of course their were the expected sounds and movements of last minute preparations and adjustments to Phantom and the small ship she would use, but more that were the images and questions that were now constantly flouting through her head. She had never been off of the ghost Moon colony but had been educated on the places of the space colonies and Earth. But how could a person imagine a world that they had never seen in person but only on vids and on the words of those who spoke them? Rain couldn't imagine the things she would come to face out in space so she didn't even try too. 

Rain tried to bring her mind out the curious gutter she had pulled herself into as she looked out her window. The room around her was totally empty. All of her things had been either taken out or packed in the small amount of space she was given for her trip. Space looked so innocent. It was so hard to imagine the horrible wars that had ensued because of it. As her mind again feel into her gutter Rain didn't notice the footsteps behind her until someone interrupted her through her mind.

'Rain. I hope I didn't startle you. I thought using telepathy would be better." __

'Thank you Dr. M. I'm glad you did. I probably would have jumped 10 feet other wise"

Rain then turned to face the man she had always known as her teacher. As she looked into the man's eyes she noticed tears. 

"This is going to be hard on all of us. Not just you. But of course your job is hardest of all."

Dr. M paused in his speech and took a small disk from his pocket. Walking up to Rain he placed it in her hand.

"I do not have time to give you your intire mission, and yes this is a mission, so all of us have enclosed everything you will need to know and what you are to do in this disk. You will have time to go over it on your trip."

Rain looked at the Dr. intently. Yes those had been tears because she could see one slowly making it's way down the man's cheek. Rain smiled and walked up to Dr. M giving him a long hug. To her surprise the doctor hugged her back with a fierceness only a father would give to his child. 

"I will miss you too Dr. I'll never forget I promise."

With those last words Rain let go of her embrace and headed towards the door way of the only home she had ever known and into a world where anything was possible. Leaving all of those she ever loved left in the undertow.

*****************

'Oto no nai mahiru, __

Kaze ha tada, akarui,

Sukoshi, nemutasou ni, hanabira ga, yureta,

Nani, ge, nai, kono omoi,

Nee, Hito, ha, donna kotoba de, yondeiru no,

Shiroi, suna no tsuki, toji kometa, hanashi o,

Hikari, furasu you ni, kikasete ne, sotto."

Rain sat still in the silent cockpit of the traveling ship. She dared not move for fear of waking up from her dream. Or was it a dream? All the things seemed so real. Her voice was the same as she had always known it to be. The control panel. It felt the same as always. Then why was it that she felt something was not right. Like this dream, this magnificent dream, would swallow her up and never let her go.

As Rain stared out at the stars and the earth the words to that familiar song rolled off her tongue. Her light alto voice carried it's way through the corridors of the small vessel lighting the once dead halls with a more livable tone. That song. Where did it come from? She had heard herself sing it in her dreams but never attempted to sing it out loud before. Why now? 

"You are always asking so many questions Rain. And it seems to me that you never find the answers your looking for." 

Rain smiled as she felt Phantom's presence in her head.

"Your right Phantom. I do ask many questions. And it seems silly really because I always have the answers. They're in my head and I know they're right. I guess it's just not enough to know them but I have to speak them too. (light laugh) That didn't make any sense did it?" "Actually, that made perfect sense." __

"Thanks Phantom"

Rain sighed as she finished the last verse of her song. It was a wonder how much a good song a friendly talk with a friend could brighten ones spirit, even if that friend was a mobile suit with a brain. She wondered how Phantom was, all cooped up in that small storage area in the ship.

Gazing again out at the stars Rain wondered how many of her unanswerable questions would be finally answered out there. It seemed like an internity before she would learn any answers.

"Rain. It seems we are arriving at our destination. I am preparing systems for security and authorization checks." 

"Right. I'll start preparing the ship for docking procedures and authorization. Well her we go Phantom. It's sink or swim time."

"Preferably swim." 

*********************

Space was such an amazing place. It housed so many forms of everything you could ever imagine. Including humans. 

"Space has always been my home, and yet I am just now seeing it for what it is. Wow. I sure have been out here too long."

Arrow said scratching his head and then leaning against the bay wall, folding his arms over his chest. He never thought the day would come when he would have to be backed up by a new solider. Of course these were war times, and it was stupid to let pride come before duty. He just hoped that this new pilot would be up to the standards that Lt. Noin said he was. 

Gazing up from his position Arrow was just in time to see a ship come into view of the docking bay.

'Well looks like it's time to see who this new guy is.'

********************

"Docking procedures complete. Authorization to attach complete."

"All security checks have been scanned and show green." 

"Great. Hey Phantom do you mind docking this thing for me. I wanna go change real quick ok?"

"Sure, no problem" 

Wiping a drop of sweat from her brow Rain quickly walked out of the control room and into the long hallway of the ship. Her heart raced in her chest. She had never been so nervous about anything before and this was scaring her that she would be so excited. Of course it was the first time she had ever been anywhere with out the Drs', so excitement was to be expected. 

Rain quickly arrived at the small room she had been using for sleeping and opened the door. Scanning the room quickly Rain found what she was looking for. Taking off her space suit Rain changed into what she was going to wear for the days events. Of course nothing to flashy just a black sleeveless top with jeans and boots. As soon as she had changed excitement again grabbed her and forced her out of the room and down the hallway to the exiting hull door.

"Rain we have connected with the docking bay. You should be able to go out now. Good luck." 

"Thanks Phantom, you've been a major help. I'll send maintenance people as quick as I can to get you ok?"

"Of course." 

Smiling Rain reached the hull. The shiny metallic door seemed to invite her to open it. As if it knew her excitement and terror all at once. Reaching forward she placed her hand on the door lock and with a low hiss the door opened.

Rain stared down the hallway of the docking tunnel. The tunnel had to only be less then 20 feet but to Rain it seemed miles. Rain stepped through the door with a clank from her boots and began to walk down the hallway. Her usually brisk pace had left her and she revealed in watching the walls of the tunnel go by inch by inch. She had never known that she could be so enthusiastic about something like she was at that moment. But as soon as she had ended her thought a figure became visible at the end of the bay tunnel. The first thing noticed about this person was the strange hair cut given to the boy like figure. His hair was a dark brown but Rain could detect a lineage of red headed people in his family by the light hue of red in his hair. But it wasn't the color that fascinated her but the cut. His bangs were cut to a medium length and covered the upper half of his left eye. This hair cut struck a memory in Rains mind but she didn't know what. Putting a mental note of it in her head Rain continued her long walk to this stranger. As she got a good look at his face Rain decided that he was handsome. But that wasn't current business was it. She also noticed the bars on his space uniform. This guy must be the Commander of the corp. she was entering. Rain swore he couldn't be older then 15, her own age. It seemed odd that a person her own age would be her better. 

Finally reaching the end of the dock Rain stopped in front of the commander. Saluting to him Rain spoke.

"My name is Rain Sakamoto. I was assigned to the 1st Gundam Corp. and I am here to meet with my commander." Rain dropped her salute and put her hand out to shake the guys hand. He looked a little shocked to Rain but gave her a return salute and shook her hand.

"Yes, I am the commander. My name is Arro Barton. Welcome to the fortress Aries, Rain. We've been expecting you." 

Rain smiled and Arro smiled back as he lead her into the depths of the large ship.

*************

"Over here is the eating lounge where….."

Rain tried to listen to Arro as they walked through the massive fortress. Rain was stunned at the level of technology and detail the designers had put into the ship. 

Although the ship was amazing it wasn't the ship that totally entranced Rain. Arro was extremely handsome. His face was boyish in looks and his eyes made Rain want to stare at them all day. Of course, all Rain could feel was puppy love for her commander. She didn't even know him that well. For all she knew he could be really mean and selfish.

"Rain….Rain." 

Rain snapped out of her trance. 

"I'm sorry what did you say?" Rain asked seeing that Arro was trying to tell her something.

"I asked you if you saw your mobile suit here. We're at the docking bay." Arro said with some concern in his eyes. 

Rain looked around the massive hanger for Phantom. Here she noticed at least 25 mobile suits. Mostly updated models of the older Aries and Taurus suits. But as she looked down the line she noticed a different one. This mobile suit was massive. Not that it was bulky but she could tell it was made to hold a huge arsenal power. The model suit reminded her of the older Heavy Arms Gundam she had seen in vids. But this one was a bit different. Instead of the orange or green of either Heavy Arms models this one was different shades of blue and white. But other then the colors the main design was the same. Although Rain did noticed that the edges of the mobile suit were more curved then strait edged. She thought that this must have been because the Gundam was to need to be more aerodynamic then before.

"Not yet. I can't see around all these other suits." Rain said turning to Arro.

"That's ok, here. We can go down the rows until you find it." As Arro spoke he walked towards the railing of the elevated decks that they were standing on. Rain watched as Arro grabbed onto a handle on the rail. He slowly depressed a button on the end of the handle and slowly began to travel down the railing. 

Rain had seen this before, and of course it was necessary. This ship was in space and a lot of the rooms were in zero gravity including the hanger. If there had been no guiding they would probably have a lot of problems getting down to their suits. 

Rain followed suit and grabbed the next available handle and depressed the button. 

************

Rain had found Phantom rather easily. She could notice her black shining paint anywhere and as she had pointed it out to Arro she had noticed his surprised look. He told her that he had no idea that she had a Gundam, and that the only ones who had gundams in the corps were the commanders. This caught Rain a little off guard. She hadn't figured that Gundam were that rare. 

Arro confirmed her suspicions when he told her that only a certain number of gundaniam had been found and only 10 were said to have been produced. Hers would make 11. Rain had noticed Arro's suspicious look and guessed that something about the whole situation didn't seem right. But Rain smiled and told him truthfully that she had no idea why she had a Gundam either, but that she had received it early in her life. 

Although she did withhold her own information from Arro. She did know why she had a Gundam, But she had no idea they were rare. If she had known that she would be creating questions by having this unknown Gundam she would have made a background for it. Now she was afraid that she had put questions in his head that would make him re-think her being there all together. This was war times, and anyone being suspected as a traitor or spy was dealt with harshly. She would just have to remember not to bring up the question of her Gundam again and just fake what she could. She knew she wasn't what she said but she was definitely not a spy.

Arro had almost totally finished the tour of the hanger when Rain noticed another person coming up the decks. The footfalls were very soft. The person arriving was very trained in military tactics. As the figure rounded the corner Rain saw Arro smile and walk towards the person.

Michelle was very pretty from what Rain could tell. Her golden hair nicely framed her young looking face and was cut so that it slightly bobbed were it stopped at her shoulders. Sara also noticed that her eyes were a very nice shade of pale blue. The perfect specimen of snobbery and aristicrativness if Rain ever saw it. Rain watched as Arro greeted her with a hug and a small kiss on the mouth. A girl friend. Great. 

Rain knew the girls name before Arro introduced her to Michelle but that was only because she had looked in her mind for the answer. As Rain shook her hand an icy chill went up her spine. She didn't like this. Something wasn't right here. As if noticing Rain's discomfort Michelle smirked, which could have been a smile but Rain knew better. This girl was very suspicious. But where was it Rain's place to judge people, and the only way to really see what kind of person Michelle was, was to look into her mind. To bad she had vowed not to do any mind hunting while she was here. Damn.

"It's very nice to meet you Rain." Michelle said. Her voice light but full of honey just to make it sound like she meant it. 

"The pleasure's all mine." _'You snake in the space grass.'_ Rain thought as she plastered on a fake smile. At that moment she knew it. Michelle and her were not going to be seeing each other much if she had anything to do with it.

"I'm sorry I have to leave you Rain, but I think you know your way around here by now. If you'll excuse me." Arro said taking hold of the slightly shorter Michelle's hand as he grabbed a handle and depressed.

"Of course." Rain managed to get in before the couple got out of sight.

__

'So what now Phantom?' Rain asked folding her arms over her chest and turning to the Gundam.

'Well for one, you've got an in coming communication from Alec at the moon base. You might want to enter the cockpit and see it.' __

'Great!' Rain turned just as Phantom's cockpit hissed open. With a small step over the gap between the Gundam and a near 50 foot drop to the ground, Rain entered the cockpit of Phantom.

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SOOOOOOOOo. What did you think? Good ? Bad? E-mail me and TELL MEEEEEE I need input here people. I have all intentions of finishing this damn story but I just wanna know if I have any fans or avid readers, or even ppl who wanna she how bad I sucked at this chapter. All comment are accepted (except outright hate notes and boos) thanks

Get ready for the next chapter of "When I Close My Eyes"

"A Visit From Two Fates"


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